Praying for a Positive

Why is it when you try not to think about something you think about it even more? Since May, we have been trying to get pregnant. I did a lot of reading and made the decision to try "charting." I highly recommend the books Taking Charge of Your Fertility and What to Expect Before You're Expecting. Well, now that I've read both books, consulting each of them several times a month, I'm ready for the next step...that big fat positive pregnancy test. But, it doesn't seem to be coming! :(

Last week, I visited the Nurse Practitioner I go to on an annual basis. I arrived with my charts in hand, convinced that something is wrong and we need to start testing STAT! To provide some of the back story prior to that appointment...I'd already decided to lay off on charting this month, and I haven't taken my temperature in a couple of weeks. It's actually been nice not to be awakened by the early alarm. I also saved money and didn't by any OPK's (Ovulation Predictor Kits). I have been paying attention to all of the other signs so that we could maximize our efforts, but I don't think my husband would accuse me of treating him like a "Robot" this month. LOL!

So...back to the charts and the NP. I'm sure she's seen it many times before, but I couldn't help but wish I was inside of her head. I'm sure the thoughts went something like, "here's another crazy chick trying to control the baby making process. . . yada yada yada." Basically, she told me to the lay off the charting, and I was proud to tell her that I already had. From what she could tell from the charts, I am having normal cycles. Her advice was to get through the holidays and make an appointment for January with one of the doctors. She said that at that point I could explore options with the doctor, etc. Of course, she also said, "schedule the appointment, relax your way through the holidays, and you'll probably get pregnant and have to call and cancel the appointment." LOL! If only that could be true! She did clariy that she could offer no guarantees on that statement...LOL! I'm just glad she approached it with a sense of humor.

As of now, I have an appointment for mid-February. So much for January...that's how busy the doctor is. I'm at peace with that ...for now. I'm sure I will have a "freak out" moment  in the next few months and call back to see if I can get in before the first of the year. I hope that doesn't happen. I hope and pray that we will have a positive result before that appointment but know that I need to be realistic. I'm doing what I can to be as "chill" as possible for the next few months. Lord, we're doing what we can and are doing our best to leave it in Your hands!